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I promised. [28 Jun 2007|01:54am]
Chapter One - Dashboard Confessionals is posted. :)

Man, it's so weird not to see 2292919 reviews. Ahahaha, I am so humbled.

I love you guys. <3 :)
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Hello [21 Jun 2007|03:43pm]
If anyone reads this anymore...


May I present an endeavor both new and old?

Deconstruct, a Memoir is my intellectual and spiritual summer project. :) This is the original, only slightly retouched, definitely not rewritten, and... I'm really very thrilled.

For everyone who used to love it, get to know it again.

Regular updates to follow.
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On Finding Balance [25 Jun 2006|03:24pm]
Well. Sense returns.

I can never find a balance here. I'm always walking a line of thinking myself of much greater importance and influence than I will ever be. I skirt around that sometimes, though, and turn to a darker, falling place of just being so tired of theups and downs. I guess the truth is that talent wanes, tastes mature, and in almost every respect, I have achieved mediocrity.

My respect for my readers, my respect for my writing, and my respect for the fandom fluctuates. And I am sorry for that, because as a writer, I am unpredictable, volatile, and unreliable. But let me tell you that I do love to write and I do want to write again. Empty promises, you're probably thinking right now, with good reason.

Let me handle this delicately. I would like to write, I don't know if I will. Please don't get your hopes up. My laptop has been broken for over a month and a half now and I have no idea how many weeks into the future it will be repaired. As such, I work and write on my dad's computer, so my availability for UR.org admining, writing, work, and leisure time are all dependent on his schedule.

I like to write at 2 AM under the covers with a chill in my heart. Middle of the afternoon southern California heat, crouched over an old, clunky desktopcomputer does not supply the atmosphere or the aura for my type of good writing. But I can write small things, I think--some additions to other stories, some one-shots, if not any new chapters for Deconstruct.

Don't ask for my old memoir. It may or may not ever resume, I'm sorry.

But if you find my writing saves you, if it helps you, if you love it, open up to me on a larger scale and try to find a love for my new work. I have elements of charm still hidden, maybe. If you can gently pry yourself away from my old treasures, listen to my new scribbles, my new secrets, and my new caresses. I am a girl of bark and bite. Can we try to see if I can still tantalize, but differently?

Let me know.

I'm sorry.
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[05 Apr 2006|04:42pm]
Oh, go fuck yourselves.

From this point on, I'm not a fanfiction writer anymore. It's not like I have been for a long time anyway. I hate all of this stupid crap. I hate all of you stupid fuckers.

(If you have this journal friended because you want OMGUPDATESSSS, go fuck yourself, too. Please defriend me immediately. No kidding. They're not coming.)

And NO, I don't care about your whining, I don't care if you think my writing is 'banal' - how quaint, you can use a large word to flex your internet geek, keyboard muscles and show off your amazing repertoire of vocabulary words - and I most certainly don't care if you think this is OMG SO BITCHY AND OMG SO UNFAIR. Shut up. Go die. That's all.

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Updates [23 Nov 2005|12:39pm]
This is the week of updates. These are official, for sure dates (or at least as for sure as I can make them):

Butterflies & Machine Guns: chapter 3 uploaded on Thursday, November 24th.
Deconstruct, a Memoir: chapter 2 uploaded on Friday, November 25th.
Series of Vignettes: chapter 6 uploaded on Saturday, November 26th.
The Preferable Maiden Fair: chapter 2 uploaded on Sunday, November 27th.

See you then.

ETA: Starting today, I'm uploading chapters of the old Deconstruct here. It will be updated regularly.
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Whee [04 Sep 2005|02:39pm]
Deconstruct is up over at UR.org. :)

You can read it and review it anonymously--so go ahead.
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Hi! [28 Aug 2005|02:51pm]
[ mood | content ]

Hm. :)

UR.org is open.

I uploaded chapter 1 of TPMF and Butterflies. Chapter 1 of the new Deconstruct will be up tomorrow or the next day. Review!

X-posted at nitwitinperil.

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Stuff [05 Jul 2005|01:44pm]
[ mood | busy ]

An update! Yay!

All right. To date, I've put four stories up on the internet in varying degrees of completion: Deconstruct, a Memoir (29 chapters so far, estimated 50), Unquestionably Idyllic (one shot, completed), The Preferable Maiden Fair (3 chapters so far), and Butterflies & Machine Guns (2 chapters so far). Obviously, the one most people are most interested in is Deconstruct, and, also obviously, this is the only story completely unavailable on the internet right now. Yeah, I know some of you are cranky over that. Sorry. Here's my reasoning...

Concerning Deconstruct: I started writing it when I was 12 years old. I understand that most people are quite happy with it as it stands, but I honestly can't read the first 10 chapters without wanting to bang my head against a wall. For my age, I guess I was a decent writer, but I'm 15 years old now, and I have a different writing style and--at least I think--a richer understanding of what writing really is. That being said, I'm rewriting Deconstruct. I'm enriching the characters, the plot, adding and removing things, but keeping the same basic storyline. I imagine that this won't sit well with a few people; I apologize for any inconveniences this might bring about, but, I prefer the new version immensely and will not repost the old version. I understand if this angers people to the point where they refuse to read the new version, but please do give it a chance. I'll start uploading chapters regularly to our new archive (we're shooting for early August here) and will keep going until I'm back up to chapter 30. Until then, Deconstruct will not be posted anywhere, except with the possible exception of a teaser placed in here or on Portkey.org.

Concerning Unquestionably Idyllic: Eh. It'll have to be slightly rewritten because of Deconstruct's changes, but I will make both copies available online, and will try not to fundamentally change the writing style very much. Both versions will be posted on the new archive.

Concerning TPMF: Nope, I haven't given up on it. I just haven't updated it in a bit, partly because I'm lazy and partly because I'm waiting until the new archive comes up. It will be updated regularly again once the site is up. The first three chapters will remain as they are now, though perhaps with a quick beta session for silly mistakes, and new chapters will surface at some point. Most people don't like this as much as they like Deconstruct, but honestly, it has such a richer plot. Once I put up more chapters, hopefully everyone will warm to it. *shrug* To each his or her own, I suppose, but hey, I like this story. I like it a lot.

Concerning Butterflies: Pretty much the same thing as TPMF. Yes, the chapters will continue to be short. Every chapter is a vignette of sorts, and that's probably how it will be throughout the entire thing. I have no idea how many chapters it'll end up being, but it's fun to do when I'm bored or when I'm feeling angsty. Peh. I like this story, too, even though it's a lot more abstract than anything else I've ever written.

New Fanfiction: I have surprises, but nothing will be posted until the new archive is up.

And that's it for now. :)

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I'm Still Alive! [22 May 2005|11:44am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I realize that I update less and less and a lot of you are probably getting angry. Bah. I have a talent for bringing anger and frustration out in people, I think. Well, here's an update, anyway.

Concerning The Great Break: the other 8 mods and I are working hard to erect the new web archive. You wouldn't believe how hard and complicated it gets. We have so many ideas and so many programs that we're a little swamped right now. Even between the 9 of us, everyone's doing a ton of work. We apologize for our slowness in actually getting the site up, but when we do, it'll be worth the wait tenfold. If you have any questions about what we're doing, please drop the mods a line at thegreatbreak@gmail.com and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Some of you post comments here to ask questions but I often accidentally skip over things in my haste to get through everything. If you want a guaranteed answer, please e-mail us or go and join thegreatbreak. We're almost at 500 members.

Concerning Deconstruct: believe it or not, I'm actually working on it. I'm spending my downtime (very little, these days, what with school and TGB) working on editing the first half of the story. I've never used a beta reader, and so, as you can probably remember, a lot of my earliest work was littered with holes and incongruous plot bunnies. I tend to slap things together and stick them out there. As I grow and mature as an author, I realize that I want to achieve better than that. In honor of the opening of the new archive, I'm revamping Deconstruct. It's the same story and many of the chapters are still written the same, but I hope that if you choose to reread it, you'll discover that things have morphed into something more beautiful than before. I'm handling things delicately, so don't worry about it, but I'm trying to give you guys a reason for waiting all this time for an update. When the archive is erected, Deconstruct will be one of the first stories uploaded and will resume regular updates from then on in. As of right now, no copy of Deconstruct is available on the internet (to my knowledge). A lot of people have e-mailed me wondering where they can go to reread it, but I'm sorry to say that I'm on hiatus right now. As soon as the website gets up, Deconstruct will be back. Until then, check out all the other wonderful stories there are. :) I highly suggest reading _thirty2flavors' Silly Love Songs, which she's reposting in her LiveJournal.

Concerning my other stories: these will be posted on The Great Break's new web archive, too, as soon as the website's up. No worries. I'm not ending any of these, aside from Unquestionably Idyllic, which was just a one shot in the first place. Look for new stuff from me once the archive's up, too. I swear I'm still alive.

Concerning life: life is good. Did I ever mention that I broke up with that Ryan guy? Because I did, awhile back... I can't remember if I mentioned it or not. Spring has been good to me, though. I'm happy, I'm single, and I laugh a lot more than I used to. I'm extremely busy but very content. My friends and I are having a ball with the end of our sophomore year and I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm extremely grateful for everything that's been given to me. I'm living in a form of perpetual grace. I turned 15 on May 10th, so woohoo! I'm finally getting older. It's a little bit exciting. One of my dear friends and one of my fellow MWPP authors and TGB mods, christycorr, bought me a year's worth of paid LiveJournal time over at my personal jounral, nitwitinperil. Man have I been having fun with that!

Concerning Harry Potter: have you SEEN the trailer? Abso-fucking-lutely amazing, I tell you. Just wow. And HP6 comes out in 54 days! Oh yes. It's such an exciting year for all of us fans. :)

Concerning you guys: I love you all, still, so much. How's life been? Tell me stories.

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Deleted [07 May 2005|10:57pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

By the way, Deconstruct was deleted from fanfiction.net. I didn't do it, but the fanfiction.net admins did.

*shrug* All the better. I will NOT repost at fanfiction.net. Deconstruct will only be up at the new archive, courtesy of thegreatbreak. You can keep checking back here for updates on that if you want, but otherwise, I suggest joining the comm to keep yourself in the know about what's happening with me and a lot of other writers.

You might recognize some of us. We include B.C. Daily, Christy Corr, Citnamor Sselepoh, duva, erak, everblue3, fellytone, First Light of Eos, Koonelli, Lamina Court, Mandarina Ballerina, Missers, Oy Angelina, Sarinileni, Silverspinner, Solarism (me), Suns Golden Ray, thirty2flavors, and Y. Kuang.

There's also over 300 less well known authors that are participating. :)

Look for the new archive in 1-2 months. In with the new, out with the old.

Summer 2005 is the summer of revolution, my dears.

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Constant Under My Feet [07 May 2005|12:50am]
[ mood | crazy ]

I just took my AP exam, which means less stress. :) However, I'm devoting a lot of my time over at The Great Break. I think my writing is on a temporary hiatus until the new archive gets up. Don't worry--you guys will barely notice. :/ Just realize this is another one of my lame, several-months-till-an-update times.

Yes, I suck.

But oh! I'm so happy these days--my heart is soaring. Love/hate relationships have taken on a whole new meaning. :)

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Clarification [17 Apr 2005|04:56pm]
[ mood | busy ]

I've had a few days to simmer and I've made some slight changes. If you read the last entry, you should know that I'm leading thegreatbreak and that I was originally planning on completely leaving fanfiction.net, starting immediately. That is no longer the case.

This is now definitely what will happen: all stories, including Deconstruct, will be updated on fanfiction.net until our new archive is operational. After the website is operational, all stories other than Deconstruct will no longer be updated on fanfiction.net. A notification will be sent out when that time comes. Deconstruct will continue to be updated on both archives until it is done. After Deconstruct ends, I will post nothing new to fanfiction.net. Deconstruct's sequel, Resurrect, will be exclusive to the new archive. Any other fics that I post will also be exclusive to the new archive.

I hope that's not too confusing.

For those of you who are completely boycotting fanfiction.net, I will also post any and all updates to all of my stories at thegreatbreak, so you won't need to go back to fanfiction.net to read my updated work if that bothers you. I'm not sure if I will continue to post updates on LJ once the archive is up, but we'll see.

Thank you all, once again, for all of your support. <3

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Important [15 Apr 2005|06:48pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

If you're here about Sarinileni, fanfiction.net being crappy, because you heard about The Great Break, or anything else, read the entry below. And if you've read the entry below and support our cause--a cause that it seems almost all the big name L/J authors are joining, in a partial or complete break from ff.n--please join thegreatbreak. It'll be worth it, I swear.

And now, a word to my readers.

Some very important notes.Collapse )

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RANT [14 Apr 2005|03:11pm]
EDIT 4/15: Join the community: thegreatbreak now!

Support Sarinileni, who is one of the MANY that have been mistreated by fanfiction.net.
Remember Lust or Love.
To read a more in depth explanation, go here or here.

More: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Made PROUDLY by Juli, bluebellflames, (who designs at alapsuscalami).

[Feel free to take this image, save it to your own server, and use it show your support. Link it back to this entry so that people can get the full story. You can do this by typing: < a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/deconstructlj/33755.html">< img src="YOURURLHERE">< /a>, except without the spaces.]

* * *

I don't care if writing this gets me kicked off of fanfiction.net. I don't care if putting the above message in my ff.n userinfo gets me kicked off, either. I don't care anymore. I really don't. I'm at the point, after being a productive and well-known member of that website since 1999, where I have had enough of them. They've been unfair for years and never seem to get any better, and I'm fed up. Something just happened to break the camel's back for me.


Sarinileni, author of one of the most famous Lily & James fics ever created, was GROSSLY mistreated by the site. And I mean grossly. Her fic, which was 26 chapters and had 6,000 reviews, was deleted back in mid-March (2005) without any reason or notification given.

Though absolutely devastated, Sarina recognized that she perhaps did have content in it that was offensive, and decided to modify her fic. She got a LOT of crap for doing this from a lot of her readers, but she decided that she was dedicated enough to her readers and to fanfiction.net to repost her story.

She edited Lust or Love to take away the explicitness and to slightly improve her writing quality. Doggedly, she scraped 1,600 reviews into the new version, but it was still nothing to the incredible 6,000 she'd had only a month earlier. People seemed less responsive, though it is true that MANY of her readers remained supportive and wonderful throughout her whole ordeal. Many people, many fellow writers, felt for her deeply.


Today fanfiction.net deleted Lust or Love AGAIN. AGAIN. Even though Sarina removed the questionable content, some idiot that was resentful of her fame submitted another report to fanfiction.net. (That's how fics get deleted. If a user reports a story, fanfiction.net deletes it.) Without looking at it or notifying her (YET AGAIN), the admins at the site decided to delete her story for the second time in a month. IN A FUCKING MONTH.

I've read Sarina's story and I know that there is a lot worse that goes completely unnoticed or dealt with on the website. Sure, she had some sexual-related themes the first time around, as that's her story's very essence, but it was nothing distasteful, and it completely complied with the R-rating that fanfiction.net allows.

What is so BOTHERSOME and UNFAIR is that fanfiction.net does NOT give anyone the benefit of the doubt even for a second. They delete fics the second they read a report on it, even if the report is a total lie, don't notify the author or warn them, don't respond to e-mails on behalf of the author, and as of right now, refuse to change this ridiculous system.

It boils down to this: they're fucking lazy bastards that don't want to take the time to have good customer service, so they tear down idols and amazing writing without a second glance.

This issue is frightening for EVERY author, and if you have a fic on fanfiction.net that isn't completely G-rated, I'll tell you right now, you're in danger of being deleted too.

THINK ABOUT IT. Any--and I mean ANY--person who doesn't like your story for some reason or another can submit a report to fanfiction.net. This means that your story WILL be deleted. It means that ANYONE can waltz in, be a bastard, make up a fake report, and GET YOU DELETED FROM THE SITE, no matter how many reviews you have and no matter how many people love your writing. And there's nothing you can do about it. At all.

The following is a stand. I'm going to take a look into the history of fanfiction.net's unfair policies, try to suggest some solutions, and explain more about Sarinileni's situation. I'm going to try to make it clear about what a terrible and precarious situation I believe that we're ALL in.

Remember. Don't support witch hunts.

Remember Lust or Love.

* * *

Click here to continue.Collapse )
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Screenshot [08 Apr 2005|04:27pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

Have I mentioned how much I love you all lately? This entry is purely me showing off. :/ But really. I love you guys.

Big screenshot under the cut.Collapse )

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Weird... [08 Apr 2005|12:14am]
[ mood | working ]

I updated Butterflies & Machine Guns.

This is a WEIRD chapter. I think I might have to make the rating on this story as mature as it can get. I can practically feel the erotica coming on, at least from Darlene's side of the story.

Anyway, this chapter. It's short, and meant to be short, and meant to be somewhat thrown together, because it's a prologue. It's part 2 of the prologue, actually.

I think it might just weird you out.

WARNING: Don't read it if you're not okay with frank discussion about sex. Seriously.

P.S. I redid the layout for this journal. Not entirely sure that I like it. I also redid nitwitinperil, and I'm much happier with that. *shrug*

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Update Queen, Oh Yeah [07 Apr 2005|04:21pm]
[ mood | crazy ]


So far, I'm doing pretty damn well with my writing. I know NONE of you believe me anymore when I say that I think I'll update soon, and for good reason, but man. I have a feeling about this one. It might go away so don't get your hopes up, but 30 feels right to me. I think I'll be able to update by the weekend of the 15th of this month. That's a lot faster than the last chapter, eh? Well, let's hope that I stay on track. So far I keep writing scenes that I really shouldn't, and I've been ignoring the scenes that I NEED to write before I can post. But good news: at least 3 Lily/James scenes in this one, and I'm sort of proud of them. We're moving toward a realtionship, here, people!

I'm also no longer sure if this chapter will be as dark as I originally expected. But I'm still toying with the idea...

I plan, by the way, to update Butterflies & Machine Guns later on tonight (but probably not until late).

Man, has anyone other than me noticed that my coolness points are going up a little lately? I came back from an unofficial hiatus and updated Deconstruct, I updated TPMF which I haven't even TOUCHED for 6 months yesterday, and I'm updating Butterflies & Machine Guns tonight. AND I'm making really good headway on chapter 30. Oh yes. I'm making a conscious effort to stop being one of those lame authors that never ever updates, because really, there's no excuse, at least for me, especially when I'm on break. (No offence to my friends out there who also don't update for several months--I still love you guys. Really.)

Unfortunately, I'm going back to school on Monday (something I'm really not looking forward to). The fact that I haven't even looked at my English or AP Euro essays is starting to get to me, so I think I'm going to go try to do some work on those right now. I'll be back later to update Butterflies. Until then, loves, adieu.

P.S. But HEY, if you haven't read chapter 3 of TPMF yet, please do. It'll thrill me if you review. For some reason chapter 3 hasn't really brought in many reviews at all (probably because I haven't updated in so long). Some people think that the story's going to wind up cliched, but I swear. Give me a chance. It's only the beginnnnning. So anyway. If you have a second, shoo! Read, review, make me looove you more than I already do.


Edit: Make that Butterflies update tomorrow morning. I'm too tired. :((( That's code for I got distracted by MSN Spaces and was a bad person and ignored MS Word. :((( Sorry!

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Hmmm, TPMF [06 Apr 2005|10:04pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Wow. I updated The Preferable Maiden Fair.



Imagine that.

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Lily and Sirius [06 Apr 2005|12:10am]
[ mood | pensive ]

I'm a little sad tonight. I don't really have any reason to be, I guess. But I'm mournful. And I believe so much in love right now that I felt the need to write.

Let's play a game, anyone who's out there. I wrote the beginning of a very poignant, unrequited, romantic Lily/Sirius fic. It's under the cut. If you feel like it, if you want to, leave a comment continuing it. I just want to know what happens next from a different perspective.


Because I feel sorry for myself.Collapse )

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Attention All Bored Girls<3 [03 Apr 2005|07:36pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

One more post for the day.

Okay, so I think we all know how craptacular the writing process can be. Even if you don't write fanfiction, I'm sure you can appreciate how agonnnnizing it is to wait for your favorite author to churn out a new chapter because of said craptacular writing process. But lo and behold, there is a way to help out. Writing good, thoughtful, well-developed reviews goes a long way.

So you're probably staring at this going, "Dede, what's your point?"

I'll get down to it, then.

My WONDERFUL soon-to-be beta reader Gillian is in need of your assistance.

If you have 15 minutes, if you're bored, if you want to be cool, if you like doing good things for other people, she has a story that you need to examine.

Click here to read Gillian's story.

This is what she says about it:
It is basically the story of what is happening in my life right now, and I want input BADLY! I guess it would be too much to ask for you to put it up here or something, but I want people to read it and you are one way I can think of to spread this news around. But not among my friends, see. Just around people online I can think about. The link is to my pseudo-journal, and it is http://www.livejournal.com/users/pureimagining/. Just take a look at this long story and tell me what you think. I tried not to lie, or exaggerate, but to tell nothing but the truth. And I think I succeeded.

So be cool, read Gillian's stuff, and review. <3

Thank you all so much!

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